When will this ever stop?

I'm not sure when this started.. but I've just been too depressed to the point that I feel that I wish I could just, not wake up and face it anymore.

When will life ever be right? When will my future ever be right? When will I ever fight for myself and do things my way. I hate disappointing them, but I need to do this for myself too. I do not want to end up all alone and not able to buy what I want or whatever.

Most of the people I know are happy. Not all the time, but most of the time. The only time I'm sincerely happy is when I watch my shows and when I'm out with Telai, who practically knows what's stored inside of me.

When will I be able to smile and actually say, I'm alright?............

When life throws lemons at you, they never stop

Most of the time, I never get satisfied.

I hate how life keeps being unfair and how your life turns out from one simple decision you make.

I have been to college and I actually finished university life.

I took up BS Business Administration major in Marketing..

but

it never became my interest at all. That was the

only way I could live elsewhere and live a different life, something new and exciting!

Sure, I had fun during college. I met a lot of people there. Different types of people actually.

I love my girls. I met them from my first day in the lovely city and we still keep in touch up til now.

They surely made my stay in college worth it and bearable.

Met users too. People who just use you and throw you away once they don't need your services anymore. so much more!

Marketing ain't my thing. Advertising, that is what I want to pursue. That's what I want to see myself doing for a long time. Sitting in an office, own office, scheduling advertisements, promotions for big companies and etc. But sadly, advertising companies won't hire you unless you took up Advertising in college.

One simple wrong turn makes a huge difference. Now, I can't even see myself in the advertising field anymore. 4 years make a great difference. It's not that I was incompetent to make it to the course, but I couldn't find people to support me in pursuing my dream.

I feel as though I am trapped and I just have no where else to go to. I dream on going out of this city and living independently, but I can't. People have been planning on how my life goes on, but this isn't how it's supposed to be. I should be planning my life and people should be supporting me rather than putting me down and being so inconsistent.

I don't blame God for making my life turn out this way, but I do wish and pray that He could make things go in a path and make me understand why I am on this path and why my life is not how i see it anymore.

I see myself as the middle child. and I never disagree with the middle child syndrome theory that psychologists have been talking about.

XLR8 plagiarizing!

XLR8 is a new "boyband" in the Philippines and they are currently trying to market the Kpop fans, which they failed, badly. Fine, they are good looking and all. But man, do you know the meaning of ORIGINALITY?! aside from that, have they ever heard of PLAGIARIZING?! have they asked for copyrights from the producers of Sorry Sorry and their Album shoot?!

Although I am a Filipino, I am very much ashamed of what this has become. The music was fine, if that was original, and the concept of the photoshoot, if it were original. But the sad thing is, EVERYTHING was not! they purely copied the concept of Sorry Sorry. I am sorry, but they have gained a very serious mad anti-fan here.

this made me smile

Jay Park, or, we used to call him Park Jaebom.

He's a hottie, a comedian and one of the best b-boys. This video made me smile. He's kind of updating us with what he's up to recently. and boy, he just HAS to come back to the show biz industry. PLEASE! but he's doing so well as part of AOM too.. atleast he's being appreciated back there.. unlike his so called, "group".. seriously, 2PM ain't 2PM without him. he made 2PM rise to the top and they're just throwing him away like trash. ugh.

anyways, here's something to share.

Jaebum singing Nothing on you

crap day

Today was definitely not my best day. Today, for the first time, I cried at the office. I just felt like giving up and throwing everything away! I partly blame the disorganized pass-on's. But not totally. I guess I do not ENJOY my job as much as I hoped I would. I was so tempted to resign right there and then, but that would make me look like a person who gives up too easily. In fact, I am not, as long as the job makes me feel fulfilled. AND compensation, I KNOW, means a lot too. However high your responsibility is, that should also match your compensation. I mean, in the first place, I decided to work because I needed to be compensated JUSTLY. But whatever.

I do not know how to face the rest of the days anymore. I do not know how long my patience will last. I want to be able to do something I love but the problem is, the companies who offer those dreams are difficult to get in to. I have so many ambitions I want to fulfill and I want to do it while I am still young! My parents support it, i know. But I can't leave them alone either. I wish i can bring them with me, but they also have a life here.. Agh. I do not know why I turned into a complicated person. I hate the present me. I hate being miserable all the time, but I can't help it!

I do not know what the future holds.. But I know God will lead me to the right place.

bb creams

after a long wait, i have finally received my 1st ever BB cream. LOL. it's not that big of a deal, but reading reviews and stuff like that online kinda got my excitement running. well, mostly curiosity, because it's a korean fad and artists like KARA,SNSD, Lee Minho, SHin Hye Sung are promoting them! wait, let;s not forget SHINee!!!

so, i searched for stores online who sell them, and i never thought there'd be so many brands and types out there!! It took me over 2 days to finally decide which one to get after hours and hours of queries with the site's owner! LOL! desperate me, I KNOW!

When i got mine last week, I immediately tried it to know if the color matches my skin, and thank God, it did! or else P990.00 worth of BB Cream down the drain for you! I gotta say, I LOVE IT!! it's light on the skin, it won't make you feel guilty, at all! it's not like other foundations you put on and you get this feeling that it'd dry your skin! this one feels great! but the one sucky thing about this is that, i have a bad habit of rubbing my eyes.. so.. my eye stings alot when I rub it because the cream gets in my eye! AM I STUPID OR WHAT?!

But hell, I love BB CREAMS! they are one of the best make-ups created EVER!! definitely, a girl's best friend!

oh right, I bought the Missha Cream.. the packaging is cute too... :)

a fresh start

I guess it's about time that I stop saying and think about creating a personal "journal" and instead, DO IT.

I've been thinking about creating this, since, forever. Well, I do have my LJ blog.. but hardly maintain it because it's mainly use for my Jpop-Kpop updates. This will be for my day-to-day encounters and the rest of the experiences. So, *throws confetti* CONGRATULATIONS to me, I've officially started something new! haha..

I've been a lurker of telai08.blogspot.com and bitchvarsity.blogspot.com. Whom both authors are really good friends I met back in college. And it's fun reading what's happening to them and makes me wish that I could be a student forever. Well, not forever, but back being a student.

I've been learning how to drive recently, and it's crazy! I love the feeling sitting behind the wheel, but I seriously hate Tricycles who thinks they own the road by driving in the MIDDLE of the road, I'm like, "DUDE!! there's this thing we call, LANE. Go to your LANE!!!!! *beep beeeeep*", erm.. that's what I was thinking, but never really did that. Haha. But sitting behind the wheel makes me feel like im independent. LOL!! FREE! haha that sounds so weird, but it does make me feel that way! I am in control! but, I do wish I can get a new driver's license, because, my picture looks ugly!! T^T sad. I know!!

Now, I shall end this and go watch my new favorite couple in We Got Married, SweetPotato Couple!